Finally my girls are coming home today. Gosh I have missed them! It is nice to have some time to myself, most of my married friends look on enviously at times, but really I would rather be in their shoes. Happily married and with my children around all the time. I put my profile back on RSVP last night, but hid it again after a few minutes. I guess I was just feeling lonely. Whereas I do want to be with someone it scares the shit out of me, and to some extent I think that was what some of the weight was about. If I was fat, then no-one would find me attractive and want to be with me, therefore I cannot get hurt again. Skrewed up, I know. I have come to realise that until I can love myself, nobody will love me.Geez, I don't even know why I'm writing this. I logged on intending to write about my C25K progress!
I guess seeing all the couples out together yesterday, riding or walking around the Regatta Centre got me thinking about it all again. Wouldn't it be nice to have someone to do that with?
Anyway, I did day 2 of week one today. I know I'm only jogging for a minute at a time, and only for 8 minutes out of 30, but it does make me feel good. I had to go to the Dr this morning to get a script and although she was impressed with my weight loss she wants me to get some blood tests done. Cholesterol etc. Whatever that means. She said that last time my liver function was a bit high and that has been playing on my mind all day. She didn't indicate that there was anything to worry about, but was does that actually mean anyway? I guess I'll just go and have the tests sooner rather than later. I feel perefectly fine, and was feeling great until i went to the Dr.
God, what a rambling post. Think I need a cup of tea...
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
I am glad to hear that the girls are home and I hope you are enjoying your holidays with them. You are not only doing so well with your weight loss but you are also doing so well with the emotional aspect. You have recognised how important it is to love yourself because by doing this everything else will fall into place. I struggle with these demons often but I know that with good eating and exercise it is so much easier and one day I will be able to tell myself that I love me.
ReplyDeleteI hope your tests went ok - have a great weekend.